seen @ AMC Loews Lincoln Center 13, New York NY
Once upon a time I loved a girl. It didn't work out. I never thought I'd see her again, but time and circumstances conspired otherwise, and now she's back in my... sphere of influence, I guess you could say, but is no longer available. For a (very) brief period, however, I did contemplate the possibility of getting back together with her. Maybe she's not happy with this new man in her life, I thought. Maybe she'd be willing to try again, given the right excuse.
It was a total fantasy and I knew it, though. For one thing, she was and is perfectly happy with her man, and I know how I'd feel if an old flame tried to steal my girl from me. For another, I knew that what we had once could never be recaptured, no matter how much I might have wanted it, which was kind of ironic since from my perspective, she doesn't seem to have changed much.
Still, though, it's the knowledge that she's with someone new now that gets under my skin. I'm happy for her, but at the same time I was happier not knowing. After all, it does me no good in the long run and I was better off without it. But I can't fault her for it, either. I guess what I want is for her to be happy with her man and for us to still be friends, yet without that knowledge hanging over me, that elephant in the room that I notice but can't talk about. It's really frustrating.
The more I think about it, the more I feel like I can identify with Charlize Theron's character in Young Adult - not that I'd go to the lengths she does to try and win back her old boyfriend. Still, I can understand how living with the regret of breaking up with a lover can gnaw at you, how subsequent loves can never quite match up (though you may think they do at first), how convinced you become that your life will turn around for the better if you could correct this one mistake.
Which is why I was so disappointed that I was able to predict what would happen in this story! I remember thinking as I watched it, well, the cliche thing would be if she [SPOILER], but I'm sure something else will happen instead - and then the cliche thing actually happens (to an extent - but I was genuinely surprised that it even went that far). That really let me down, because I liked the movie up to that point, so when it ended, I was like, that's it? Oh well.