The 31 Days of Oscar Blogathon is an event coinciding with Turner Classic Movies' "31 Days of Oscar" month-long celebration, in observance of the Academy Awards. In both events, the theme is the same: recognition of Oscar-nominated films throughout history. The blogathon is hosted by Once Upon a Screen, Outspoken & Freckled, and Paula's Cinema Club. See the links above for a list of participating blogs.
Alright, alright, youse mugs, gather 'round! Hey! You two in the back! Quit playin' pool and get over here! Whaddya think this is, a country club? Alright, now listen up, 'cause I ain't gonna tell ya twice! Some o' youse know what this is all about - Muggsy, Rocco, Jimmy, Tony, you guys been in on it from the start. But as for the rest o' you mutts, here it is: we're gonna pull off a heist, see? An' this ain't gonna be no ordinary score, neither. This is more important than money. Pack yer bags, boys - we're goin' to Hollywood!
See this? This is a map o' the vault for the Academy o' Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. This is where they keep the Oscars, see? Those Academy guys been runnin' the Oscar racket a long time, givin' all them little gold men to them mooks in the picture shows. But they messed up, see? There's one guy they never gave an Oscar to. Never even nominated him for one! So we're gonna do what shoulda been done a long time ago!
We're gonna steal the Oscars for Edward G. Robinson!
What? O' course I know he's dead, ya friggin' mutt! He's been dead for years! That ain't the point! The point is those Academy bums ripped him off, see? Yeah! Those guys think they're such big shots. Every year, they hand out them Oscars like candy canes to whoever they think are the best, an' yet they never even nominated one o' the greatest actors who ever stepped in front of a camera! And don't tell me about that honorary Oscar they gave him, either! Nobody remembers rinky-dink awards like that!
What's the big deal? Rocco, all of a sudden I don't trust these mugs youse guys put together for this job! Anybody that don't know what makes Eddie G such a great actor don't belong in my crew - or for that matter, in life! But I'll explain it to youse bums, 'cause I need every man I can get!
Everybody knew Eddie G as the gangster's gangster: Little Caesar and movies like that. They helped put him on top. They made him big! But there was more t' him than that, see? Yeah! He could do comedy, he could do romance! He did film noir, sci-fi, even Westerns! Yeah, he could mix it up with other tough guys like Bogey, but he could give ya the soft soap too, when he wanted to! And he worked with great directors: Ford, Lang, Wilder, DeMille, big shots! I'm tellin' ya, he could do it all, and it didn't even matter than he wasn't a pretty boy like friggin' Cary Grant or somethin'!
He was one of us, boys! An' that's why we gotta steal the Oscars for him - 'cause they stole from him first!
Now my guys here been arguin' 'bout which o' Eddie's performances deserves the Oscar the most. Muggsy thinks he shoulda won for Key Largo. And why not? It's the best movie he and Bogey ever made together! In the 30s, Eddie was the star and Bogey was the second fiddle, but then Bogey became a star too. But it sure didn't change what the two o' them had together on screen! I tell ya, boys, I could watch this one all day. That part at the end, when they're on the boat - forget about it!
And then Rocco keeps sayin' he shoulda won for Double Indemnity. I can see that, too. He's a tough-talkin' mug in that one, but he's also the good guy! I know, I know, but it's okay, see, 'cause in that one he's real smart - I mean razor-friggin'-sharp - and he keeps that sexy broad and her sap of a boyfriend on their toes! They don't know if they can get away with their murder job or not, and that's what makes the whole thing great to watch!
But Tony here, he likes pictures like The Woman in the Window. That's where you get Eddie the romantic. He falls for a broad who was in a painting, and yeah, there's some sappy, lovey-dovey stuff, but he kills a man in it too! And there's blackmail and other good stuff like that in it too! I'm tellin' ya, boys, when ya see him in a movie like this, it's like he's a different fella altogether! It's unbelievable!
And then there's Jimmy. He likes Eddie in comedies, like The Whole Town's Talking. This is one I really go for 'cause he plays two different people in the same friggin' movie! One o' them's a mug, but the other's a wimpy regular guy - and he gets took for the mug 'cause they look alike, see? Yeah, I know, what are the odds o' two mugs lookin' like Eddie G, but so what? I laugh my head off every time I see this one!
Me, I don't care either way. There are lotsa movies he coulda won the Oscar for. That's why I'm in this for as many o' them little gold men as I can get my hands on, see? Yeah! We're gonna teach them Academy bums a lesson they'll never forget once this job is through! Any questions?
No, ya friggin' mook, them Bugs Bunny cartoons don't count!
Next: Rita Moreno
Movies by Edward G. Robinson:
Previously in this series: