Friday, April 17, 2015

Battle Royal: The gangsters

METRO-COLUMVERSAL PICTURES
IN ASSOCIATION WITH RADIOMOUNT BROTHERS
PRESENT
A FREEWHEELIN' FRACAS OF RAUCOUS AND RIOTOUS RACKETEERS!



IT'S THE CLASSIC MOVIE
************BATTLE ROYAL!!!!!!************

A TITANIC TUSSLE OF CINEMATIC CROOKS AND CRETINS, IN WHICH YOU DETERMINE NOT ONLY THE WINNER, BUT THE COURSE OF THE FIGHT ITSELF!!!!

WHO THROWS THE FIRST PUNCH?
WHO FIRES THE FIRST SHOT?
WHO FIGHTS DIRTY?
AND WHO'S THE LAST MAN STANDING?

THE BATTLE IS IN YOUR HANDS!!!!!!!!

LET'S MEET THE COMPETITORS:

This tiny terror carved his way to the top of the Chicago underworld through intimidation and sheer daring - and nothing got in his way! He rules through sheer intimidation and is not afraid to take a bullet if he has to!

Strengths: unencumbered by emotionalism (most of the time); natural leader; persuasive
Weaknesses: his best friend Joe Massara; size (5' 7"); egotistical

This Chicago bootlegger grew up mean and grew up scrappy! Don't let his playful demeanor fool you - he'll gun you down in cold blood with a wink and a grin!

Strengths: good fighter; good shooter; deadly with a grapefruit
Weaknesses: women; drink; size (5' 6 1/2")

As the number two man in Chicago's South Side, he had it made - but he wanted more! Only a man like him would dare to declare war on the North Side and take out his own boss at the same time! The world was indeed his!

Strengths: good shooter; size (5' 9"); ambition
Weaknesses: his sister Cesca; ambition

Prison did nothing to blunt the edges off of this hardened Hoosier! Smarter, wilier and tougher than the rest, he's a survivor, and he's not going back to the big house again - at least not alive!

Strengths: very good shooter; smart; years of experience as a racketeer; size (5' 8")
Weaknesses: fear of incarceration; will only kill in self-defense

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THE RULES

THE LOCATION:
A dead end alley on the south side of Chicago, with all the things one would normally find in an alley (garbage cans, dumpsters, etc), midnight



THE GOAL:
$100,000 in unmarked bills in a sack in an abandoned building, located at the end of the alley. There's only one open door that leads to the cash, and the survivor must take out the other three opponents before claiming it - by whatever means necessary!

WEAPONS:
A single revolver, loaded with only four bullets. Yes, this means all four opponents must fight for possession! Also, any and all objects in the alley that could be used as weapons

LIMITATIONS:
The cops are coming, and will arrive in twenty minutes

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THE REST IS UP TO YOU!!!!

BE CREATIVE!
BE DARING!
BE FUNNY!

WHO WILL WIN... AND HOW?

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This is an idea lifted from similar "battles" on comic book message boards. Here's an example of what I'm talking about. The more you know about the characters, the better you'll be able to shape the battle. You can treat this seriously, or with a sense of humor. Totally doesn't matter, as long as you're able to pick a winner - and there's no one right answer.

Thanks to ClassicBecky for inspiration!

8 comments:

  1. OK, here we go (sorry in advance for any grammar mistakes):
    All four are entering the alley. The gun is above a trash can, in the middle of the alley. Roy Earle is already sweating. He is great at shooting, but killing someone leaves him with a heavy conscience. But, at the same time, it’s $100,000! Is it worth all the bloody, dirty job?
    For Tony, Rico and Tom, the sum is the biggest they’ve ever seen. They’d do anything to put their hands in the money, even unfair tricks.
    The battle starts. Tom Powers has an evil smile in his face. Rico’s heart is racing. Tony’s eyes are shining.
    First it’s tall guys in a corner and short guys in the other. Rico and Tom attack each other and roll over the floor distributing punches and kicks. Roy punches Tony in the chin, and his Italian blood boils.
    Tony traps Roy in a corner and says: “It’s either money or jail to you”. Roy shakes. Tony hits Roy’s head with a piece of wood. Roy falls unconscious.
    Both Tom and Rico have dirty all over their faces. With his evil smile back, Tom casts a shadow over Rico and says: “One whistle of mine and my gang gets your ballerina friend Joe”. Rico gasps. Tom throws Rico in a massive trash can.
    Now it’s Tony against Tom. Both run to the gun, and touch it at the same time. Soon they are in the ground, fighting for the gun. Tony is stronger and lies over tiny Tom. But shorty is smart and screams, with his last breath: “Isn’t that Cesca?”, pointing to the roof of the tallest building around. When Tony looks, an X shadow over his eyes and he sees nobody. He looks back to his enemy, but Tom managed to catch half of a grapefruit in his pocket and squeezes it in Tony’s eyes. Tony screams with pain and lies in the ground in fetal position, trying to clean his eyes.
    Tom Powers gets the gun and runs for the money. With the bag full of dollars in his hand and a torrential rain starting, he comes back to shoot his opponents. He laments it is a simple gun, not a machine gun. But the cops arrive in a fast and furious car and arrest Tom and Tony. They can’t find knocked-out Roy nor Rico inside the trash can.
    The cops send the money to Ma Powers and Tom’s brother, so they can have a dignified life. Tom and Tony share not only a cell in prison, but also the other half of the grapefruit.

    (I should write classic film fan fiction, shouldn't I?)
    Cheers!

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  2. You totally should. ;-)

    I like it. Tom puts up a tougher fight than I expected!

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  3. Fantastic idea! I've gotta think about this one ... it's a challenge I need at the moment!

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  4. Take your time. It's not a contest.

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  5. Rico rules in this battle. Of all of them, he's always been the hungriest. He doesn't admit the possibility of defeat and he knows how to plan.

    Tony's ego blinds him, plus he's become too attached to his Tommy gun and is lost without it.

    Roy should be able to outsmart the lot, but is weary and his focus isn't what it once was.

    Tom...well, Tom Powers gets too cocky and he ain't so tough.

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  6. I guess Rico is smarter than I gave him credit for.

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  7. Roy is the winner in this battle -- I like the depiction of a veteran gangster who has found the need for love and normalcy as best he can. Rico is the coldest -- Tom the cockiest -- and Tony the most insane. The relationship between Tony and his sister is dynamite waiting to explode, and that is done so well. So my lineup for this battle is (1) Roy, (2) Tony, (3) Rico, and (4) Tom. Oh how I love those gangsters!

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  8. Wow three different predictions. I didn't realize they were all so evenly matched!

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