Tuesday, December 13, 2011

"Hype (I Don't Care, Babe)"

... it’s four months before The Hunger Games hits theaters across the nation, and yet I’ve already seen…oh….a third of the movie through a mixture of set photos, ‘exclusive’ clips, and trailers that have hit the internet. (I’ve probably seen about half of The Dark Knight, too.) Our attention to films in production is not, of course, a new trend–gossip columnists like Hedda Hopper provided us with our juicy tidbits back in the 1930s. But now we have more than newsreels and newspapers to sate our gluttonous thirst–we have the internet. So now, whether we like it or not, we can learn everything there is to know about a film before it hits the theaters. (Hell, with leaked copies we could probably watch every film before it’s released, too.)

"Hype (I Don't Care, Babe)"
[sung to the tune of "It Ain't Me, Babe"]

Buy yourself the rights, babe
Greenlight the film right away
Cast it with some hot young things
Pick out the right release day

You say you've got a big movie
And that sounds swell, I just can't wait
But I wish I could get away
From all these sites you inundate
With trailers, pics and interviews and more

Well I don't care, babe!
No, no, no, I don't care, babe
The film's all I'm waiting for, babe!



Cater to the fanboys, babe
They'll make you rich every time
Add pretty girls and explosions
You don't need a reason or rhyme

You say you've got a blockbuster
I wanna see it, I really do
But when you promote it non-stop
I swear it makes me wanna spew
It's nothing but a constant stream of hype

And I don't care, babe!
No, no, no, I don't care, babe
Listen to me as I gripe, babe!





You say this film will be the best
A summer treat for all to see
But I feel I've already watched the flick
With all the hype you've thrown at me
Why should I bother paying for it now?

'Cause I don't care, babe!
No, no, no, I don't care, babe
You'll make money anyhow, babe!

[with apologies to Bob Dylan]

6 comments:

  1. The trick is not caring.

    One of my most anticipated films for next year is THE DARK KNIGHT RISES. Wanna know how many set photos I've looked at? Here's a clue - it's the same amount of plot details I've read and descriptions of the six minute preview scene I've read.

    There are a small concentrated amount of details I want, but after that I go into media lockdown.

    I do it because you're damned right - hype kills...and I'm not in the mood to have my enthusiasm killed by people who want to open their Christmas gifts on December 14th.

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  2. I completely agree, and I have done my best to avoid spoilers and all that stuff. This is actually something I've wanted to write about for awhile now. I was originally gonna do it as a straight editorial, until I saw someone else had already done it recently, so I thought I'd have a little fun and change the format for once. Think of this as a general rant in musical form!

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  3. Haha this post was pretty entertaining. It is so hard to go into a movie with little expectations or knowledge about what you're about to see. I try to pick movies that I will read absolutely nothing about and it tends to be a better experience but it's pretty hard, especially if I'm excited about the movie.

    When I saw they were releasing the 6 minute Dark Knight Rises trailer I had no interest in seeing it. I'm already excited about it so why bother giving anything away. I know the characters that have been cast and that's all I really need to know in advance.

    -Jess

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  4. But that's the thing - so many fans choose to know stuff in advance, to the point where they know practically the entire movie before they see it. And I've NEVER understood that. And of course, this isn't limited to films. I used to be a comics blogger, so I'd see the same attitude in that industry as well. But which came first, the demand or the supply?

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  5. Fun post, Rich, nice angle in getting your rant out :D Y'know, I guess the advantage of me being so fascinated with Gregory Peck's movies right now makes me sort of blase about all the hype around those superhero movies. Yeah I'm excited for them but I don't really have much interest in seeing paparazzi footage/shots, etc and all the gossip surrounding it. If it's an official trailer, yeah I'll watch it, but other than that I generally steer clear.

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  6. I'd say you're better off for it.

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